Welcome to the end of your life as you now know it
I'll preface this article by stating that I am the father of FIVE children, I base the following statements, opinions, observations, and conclusions
soley on my personal experience.
I am not a Child Phycologist, Social Worker, Advice Columnist, nor am I a bad parent...( considering I have five kids you could make an argument
that I am insane tho...)
My oldest son is 24, he presently lives in one of my rental houses with "his baby's momma", she's a BSRN, and despite 3 years of parent paid
college tuition, my eldest is a welder.....they both work 2nd shift jobs so Nanna ( my wife ) keeps the grandson during the day ( gratis ). Between the
two of them they make about 75k per year, yet the rent is always late, they eat out constantly, their living room looks like a cross between
Circuit City and Baby Gap ( the future and responsiblity are not a high priority, but they gotta nice Tahoe, Jetski, Cherokee, and DEBT ) I'm beginning to
think we are "enablers".
My next two children are my daughters from my previous marriage, The oldest is 22, about to leave Navy service ( re-enlistment was not offered )
she married some guy while in San Deigo who is bringing her home to live with his divorced parents ( seems his Dad has end stage MS, and
his Mom is Blind, the new couple will be caring for the 2 of them, all in the same house...yes, I did say his parents were divorced..)
This daughter is intelligent, she graduated High School 2 years early and entered the Navy at 17. She scored high enough on the ASVAB military aptitude test
to qualify for any field in the Navy, particularly Nuke...she opt'd for ship steward, so for the last 5 years she has gained the skill of stocking vending machines,
working in a ship laundry, and name tag embroidery....they're lining up at Fluff and Fold's to hire her upon discharge....( ugh ).
This girl did have it hard early in life, her mother and I broke up when she was 4, it wasn't civil for 12 years, constantly going to court, her mom
remarried 3 times, etc.....she wound up in my custody when she was 15, after putting her stepfather in the hospital ( lots of alegations, no proof )
due to the stress of 3 kids at home, adding her to the mix didn't make matters any better, particularly when her teen rebellion kicked in.
We discovered cigarettes, got her an after school job, she got fired, let her go out, she comes home late, and drunk.....put her in a private school,
she excels academically, fails miserably socially...and then the recruiter rescues us all !!!
Daughter #2 is in college, originally a full ride ROTC scholarship in Vet. Sci., the ROTC required classes didn't leave time for the liberal studies
offered at her school, so, of course, she gives up the scholarship but keeps the major ( my checkbook weeps). She is her mothers keeper, older and wiser than her 20 years
yet as she begins to taste freedom her taste have gone a little bizzare ( tongue stud, ankle tattoo, sometimes blue, sometimes red hair ) a quiet
child ( so far, but she gives the impression of a rubber band pulled tight, just itchin' to fly....as soon as her mom lets go )
Son #2, a 16 year old, over 6 ft already, doing well in school, well in scouts, social but not a gadfly, with the temper of a demon spawn !!! His patience
is as bought as long as, well, it ain't very long.....things that do not go together on the first try are prone to flinging fits of rage, his little sister can
cause an eruption just by entering a room.
He's actually learned quiet a few lessons vicariously through his older siblings ( finally one who's learning ) girls are not an all consuming problem,
gasoline is his motivator ( unrestricted drivers lic in 6 mos ) he helps me after school at the store, and for all practical purposes, he is my "Retirement Plan".
He starts Middle College ( a combo High School and Community Coll ) next year and plans to have an Assoc Degree by HS graduation !!!! ( and it's free !)
If I could just pull him away from IM, PS2, cell phone, and MTV, he just might finish his eagle Scout project.
Lastly is our "little princess", she's 10, 3rd year dance student, 2 years diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, tall ( 5'2" ), skinny, leggy, and all girl....
I have all presumptions that she will be our most troubling child. She loves school, gets upset to the point of crying if something is difficult, does her homework without
prompting, and could easily win an Academy Award for her acting skills ( over-reaction is her strong suit ) Being diabetic has been trying, yet she counts
her carbs, doses and injects herself, and with a little encouragement test her Blood in a timely manner. But the worst is just around the corner,
she already dominates the phone, has dozens of little friends, she is the social butterfly of the future......God help the boy who falls for her, she's
already high maintanance for a 10 year old....
Now for the reality check; my personal life has long since taken a back seat to the responsibilities of ensuring my kids development.
I've missed more than a few trips to Nassau, quick runs to Atlantic City, Gulf Stream Fishing, and general hanging out with the guys.
I exchanged those for dance recitals, little league, HS Football, ROTC Drills, and Scout camping trips.( if nothing else I stayed sober and kept
a little more money in my pocket )
Now the cycle seems to be repeating for the grandson...Sheesh, will I ever get a break......