I really hate the thought of getting "older".
Age you tend to rationalize is a state of mind.
"You're only as old as you feel", and crap like that, are nothing but niceities younger people use to politely
qualify an act proformed by someone too old to be doing it in the first place.

Undeniable signs of slipping youth are as follows;

1.Stream envy

That mythical gland the prostrate has the uncanny ability to restrict urine flow. While standing in the public restroom glances at size are of no more importance, but when the guy standing next to you sounds like Niagra Falls, that envy........The ability to write your name in the snow is reduced to initials, but only with major hip sway action.

2. Clothing requirements

Most men over 40 suffer from the onset of the disease " noassatall" or worse yet "moreassthanall", these conditions do not tend to compliment recent styles. Baggy pants with no rear support resemble unchanged diapers.
Most men over 40 like volume shopping too, that has to be why I traded in my 6 pack for the keg I now carry around ( and around ), The fitted shirt look in no way compliments my excess.
Give me Dockers and a really baggy pullover, now that's youthful style........

3. Hair

Some over 40 still have it, along with the same style that they wore in 1983, some men with less are still trying to maintain that 1983 style.
Personally, there seems to be a lot more hair in the shower drain every morning, and my eyes seem to be sinking lower on my face. I'm not losing hair tho, it's just growing back in other places.
Grooming tips for the ears, back, and nose are never covered in GQ.
"Just for Men" ? I wonder if that's what Reagan used?
I used to keep natural hi-lites from fun in the sun summers, now I have that "touch of grey" . I grew a goatee several years ago, came out salt and pepper, looked good, now it's white with a hint of brown at the soul patch. I kept the beard tho, hides the beginnings of the double chin.....
My look has lately been described as a slightly overweight Vincent Price ( oh yeah, REAL sexy mental picture forming, huh ?)

4. Culture

My demographic is still in control of the majority of capital in this country. Could this explain why Caddilac is using Led Zep in its marketing campaign?
VH1 appearently has given up on the pre-AARP crowd, following MTV into the Hip Hop generation. They still continuously run their 80's marathon tho, I find it depressing that I remember EVERYTHING featured on those flashback shows. ( or perhaps I should be glad I do remember )
Potty mouth ! I can't believe what I hear out of the mouths of my oldest children and their friends. I spent 7 years as a Army Combat Engineer and even Infantry guys didn't curse like these kids ! Even more surprising is the fact that they would let me hear them talk like that, why my father would have .....uh oh, there I go sounding old again.......
Really tho, is it nessesary for the 25 and under crowd to express themselves in such a crude manner ? Is civility that uncool?
Music ? Are the bad rhymes uttered over synthasized drums and bass really considered art? Is it a requirement that to be a successful music artist you have to have at least 2 pending felony charges, or at least 1 conviction?
Maybe this is a veiled attempt at those reparations I keep hearing about.
Just how much new music is really out there? Last I heard Rod Stewart was on top of the chart, with his covers of artist like Dean Martin and Perry Commo. Perry Commo?, That was MY MOTHER's MUSIC !!!!!
Talk about a generation gap.
What do you do with an album collection ? Burn it on CD and toss out the old medium ? Frame the old covers ? Donate them to a museum ? Burn them on an altar to your passing youth.....
Hey, 8 tracks make great Christmas ornaments ( pull out the tape for instant tinsel ) or drink coasters.

I could rave on and on within this catagory, however I'd only seem shrill and petty, if not pitiful.

5. Sex

The tired old mantra of " It takes all night to do what I used to do all night" is not quite true. It's more like,
" it takes all week to get her to do what we used to do all week", and then it usually last only 15 minutes.
Viagra would only worsen the situation, as desires of the flesh give way to desires for rest.
It is true that if you don't use it you will lose it, stamina that is.
A lack of frequent sex tends to bring that occassional occassion to a rapid conclusion.
I think that damn prostrate has something to do with that too....................