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Rooster Recipe
Published on February 22, 2005 By Dynosoar In Humor
I must have something to do instead of constantly playing Spider Solitaire, it's an addiction, and terribly unproductive.

So here is my recipe for one of my favorite party foods; FLAMING ROOSTERS

Preparation requires the following equipment;

Propane burner - fish cooker or turkey fryer
60 qt aluminum stock pot w/ steam basket
Heavy rubber gloves
Oyster Knife
serving spoons
lots of paper towels
2 Crock pots ( slow cookers )

Ingredients

1 bushel of fresh oysters in shell
1 case of CHEAP beer
1 case of GOOD beer
Large containers of the following;
Hot sauce ( your choice, I prefer Texas Pete)
Ketchup
Ground Horseradish ( the hotter the better, don't get cream or sauce tho )
Vinegar based BBQ sauce ( I prefer George's, but you can use ground peppers and cider vinegar mixed )
Jalapeno rings ( again the hotter the better )
Sweet cream butter ( no salt )
Saltine Crackers
Old Bay Seafood Seasoning

To begin, open one of the good beers and slam it down, just shotgun it, then open another good beer and enjoy at your normal pace.
light the propane burner, set flame at medium high, and place stock pot on flame. Now open 6 of the cheap beers and pour into the stock pot, crush 3 of the cans and throw them into the stock pot as well ( they keep the basket out of the broth )
Liberally sprinkle Old Bay into the stock pot, place lid on and open another good beer.

Lets make our dipping sauce now, in one crock pot add the following, in no particular order

3 cups of ketchup
1 cup of vinegar based BBQ sauce
2 heaping spoonfuls of Horseradish
1 spoonful of Old Bay Seasoning
Heat on high heat until bubbling, then reset to simmer stir occassionally

Throw the butter in the other crock pot set on low and leave alone, open another good beer.

The stock pot should now be steaming and smelling fantastic !

Put on the gloves, reach into the burlap bag the oysters come in, and fill the basket about half full.
You may need to pre-rinse the oysters, when we do this in mass ( 10 or so bushels at a time ) we go to a car wash
spread the oysters on the floor and spray 'em down, then shovel them back into coolers, and top w/ ice

For smaller batches like this recipe, hose the oysters down in the steamer basket before placing in stock pot.
I reccomend doing this on a concrete driveway, or in the street, as the mud off of fresh harvested oysters has an aroma
somewhat reminisent of a house of ill repute on a summer sunday morning........

Now place the cleansed oysters into the stock pot, and put the lid on, look at a watch, and open another good beer.
For oysters I prefer a medium consistancy - firm, yet moist and warm thru-out.
Some like a slurpy, louggie nearly raw texture, while others want a rubbery overly cooked and shrunken well done preparation.
The approximate cooking times for the desired doneness is as follows;
Slurpy - 5 min
Medium - 8 min ( this is perfect )
Rubber - 10 plus min ( easy way to determine is when the shells are open, they've been in the steam too long )

DISCLAIMER - EATING RAW OR UNDERCOOKED SHELL FISH MAY BE DANGEROUS... and breathing is dangerous too....;..

While waiting for the first batch of oysters to cook ( a true bushel should yield about 8 baskets ) prepare an area to assemble the roosters by laying out paper towels on one end of a picinic table, place about 20 saltine crackers on the paper towels
then top the crackers with a generous spoonful of horseradish. Open another good beer...

The oysters should be ready now, remove from the steamer and pour out onto the bare side of the picnic table, to shuck the oysters grasp in a gloved hand and pry open w/ oyster knife ( look for the hinge and pry at that point, not at the front ) take care for oyster liquor dripping onto yourself, it's hot. Once opened, slide the knife under the muscle of the oyster and scrape out of the shell, eat this one right out of the shell, for quality control purposes, bathe the rest in the melted butter.

Now Rooster construction
remove oyster from butter bath, dredge in dipping sauce, and place on horseradish covered cracker, top with jalapeno ring, and douse liberally with hot sauce - eat in one bite

The name flaming rooster will now become self-evident as the blending of flavors meld into a first taste burn, soothed by the sweetness of the dipping sauce, followed by a sinus clearing horseradish note.
Those who partake that do not crow are either faking, dead, or have no sense of smell or taste.

To continue the process, add more cheap beer to the steam pot as needed, along with Old Bay, when you run out of good beer , switch to the cheap beer.

For the non-oyster eaters in the crowd, the broth is good for steaming shrimp, crab, and corn on the cob as well.

Enjoy....







Comments
on Apr 13, 2006
Bumped to the forum, cause I'm fishing for culinary comments....
on Apr 13, 2006
Dyno this sounds like a great recipe, one that I don't know if I'll try to tell you honestly cause I'm not an oyster eater, and I don't have propane stove.

However, I enjoyed it and I especially love your 'tongue in cheek' comedic writing of this especially:

"The name flaming rooster will now become self-evident as the blending of flavors meld into a first taste burn, soothed by the sweetness of the dipping sauce, followed by a sinus clearing horseradish note.
Those who partake that do not crow are either faking, dead, or have no sense of smell or taste."


That had me ROFL!~
on Apr 13, 2006
4evr,

You should try it! I've converted many non-oyster eaters with a rooster.

Latest vaiation has been a Sushi Rooster;

Substitute Wasabi for Horseradish, dash of eel sauce instead of Texas Pete, and Pickled Ginger instead of
Jalapeno ring.....Ahh so
on Apr 13, 2006
Substitute Wasabi for Horseradish, dash of eel sauce instead of Texas Pete, and Pickled Ginger instead of
Jalapeno ring.....Ahh so


Substitutions doesn't sound bad, but I'll still think about it!
on Apr 13, 2006
Lol, great piece here! I'd love preparing it, lots of good beer envolved in the process
on Apr 13, 2006
Hey Dyno! Just wanted to say I was sorry I missed you as well. I totally understand that you had to go! Hope all went well, and if you are up in these parts befroe June 12th, give me a ring!